Photo of a handsome (but anonymous) English lantern clock taken in my undercroft just before Christmas.
This morning we went to the coffee morning in Saint Mary's. It was really crowded. Everyone seemed very pleased to see me, and all said the same :- "How very nice to see you out and about, Mike", chatted for a while, then said "Now don't overdo it. Take it easy". Sat next to the best scrabble player in town, who is suffering from vertigo and low blood pressure, and is letting it get her down a bit (understandably). Then (in turn) a couple of blokes, both of whom have had health problems recently, came and swapped hospital horror stories. After that I was greeted by our choir mistress, who asked how I was and I decided to change the script a bit, and said "I'm fine Margaret, bit shaky , though." She surprised me by replying, "Oh good! Shows you're human." Not sure what she meant but I found it rather a refreshing change. Half an hour later, just as I was leaving a friend galloped in, said how nice it was to see me, then told me I must take it nice and easy. He noticed I had clenched my fists and had the grace to ask me what was the matter. I said "This is very unfortunate John, but I'd just made a bargain with myself that I was going to deck the next bloke who told me to take it easy! and it seems a shame to start a brawl in Church". He didn't seem worried (knew he was safe, I suppose, as he's smaller than me, though younger). "Oh well," he said, "I don't suppose you meant it ?" "well, I rather think I did" I said, "but as you varied the formula a bit and said 'NICE and easy' we can make a loophole of that, and not start anything". I suppose I should have said "Step outside and say that". Bit hackneyed though, and as I've said, he's younger than I am, so perhaps it's as well I didn't think of it, and we were able to part laughing at ourselves.
5 comments:
You are such a gentleman!
Take it NICE and easy...;-)
A punch up in church!!! Now that would get me along on a Sunday morning...;-)
By all means take things difficult (or do I mean uneasy)if you prefer to old chap...
But I'd take it as a considerable personal favour if you could just see your way clear to unclenching the Dukes just a weentsy bit...
And as the congeniality rushes back into your circulation you might even... er... not sure how to put this Mike, but we're all blokes in here so... (Lori, no peeping, don't read this bit) why not loosen the odd collar-stud and slacken off the belt a notch or two? (All clear Lori, nothing happened, carry on reading.)
By way of healthy exercise you might try raising the eyebrows - but only one at a time - and after a count of two allow them to relax and crash down again with a resounding and satisfying thud!
Oh! and ignore the blood pressure entirely, fussing over it only raises the blood pressure unhealthily.
Big sissy hugs,
Carl.
Why, thank you, Lori.
4Ds. Can't approve of scrapping in Church; so I must brush up on that "Step outside and say that" formula. Although really I know I'm too old to indulge in such shennanigans....
My dear Crowbard, you'll be sugesting I loosen me tie next.. or even going out without one, God forbid. What is the world coming to ????
Love, Mike.
I think 4Ds makes a valid and profitable point in his second paragraph Mike.
If you could restrain the pugnacious instincts until just before the offertary I am sure the congregation would respond so generously that repairs to the church ftower could easily be afforded.
Remember how spectators used to chuck nubbins into the ring for a worthy loser after a scrap? (That's a word I haven't heard in decades!
I suddenly have visions of the Choir-Mistress acting as referee and the Bishop and Rural Dean as seconds with the Sainted Dear Cousin Robert shouting encouragement to all involved from on high!
Nice idea 4Ds, but it could never happen.... probably.
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